


The Long Road

by iamconfusedcius



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: F/F, F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-01-07
Updated: 2014-09-15
Packaged: 2018-01-07 19:33:56
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 21,613
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1123575
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/iamconfusedcius/pseuds/iamconfusedcius
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Continuation of the anime arc. Mikasa is figuring out what she wants, Jean is trying to stop wanting what he can't have, Eren is trying to learn what he is, and Armin is getting real tired of everyone's shit. A mysterious (canon?) character reveals his true intentions.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Unfamiliar Territory

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jean has a memorable experience that doesn't end quite how he'd like it to.

**Chapter 1: Unfamiliar Territory**

Jean rolled over, trying to block the light from the now open doorway. As part of the Survey Corps he no longer had to stay in the cramped trainee barracks, but he still had to share a room with Eren Jaeger. Eren was always in and out during the night, either to speak with the commander or the corporal, or crying out in his sleep from some distant memory he could never seem to recall when he awoke. Probably his mother's death. Fucking Jaeger. Jean couldn't even properly hate him, his heart was in the right place after all and he had been through tragedies that Jean could scarcely imagine, but it did little to sway his feelings. His one consolation was that Eren seemed as ignorant of Mikasa's feelings for him as she was of Jean's for her. He pulled the pillow tighter over his eyes and sighed loudly, ensuring that he pushed as much of his general enmity into the sound as he could currently muster in this sleep-addled state. Eren Fucking Jaeger, hero of the Survey Corps, the titan wonder. He was about to berate him when a hand clamped tightly over his mouth.

His initial reaction was to cry out and struggle, but he quieted the urge as best he could. Jean could tell that his arms weren't restrained and that the hand had simply been to quiet him, so he calmed himself and removed the pillow from his eyes. It took a moment for them to adjust to the brightness, but he immediately picked out Mikasa's silhouette. She appeared to be wearing her maneuver gear and crop jacket, but her...

 _"Be quiet and come with me,"_  she whispered, her eyes flashing mischief in the thin light of the doorway. She took his hand and pressed it against the skin of her chest just below her breasts. Jean could feel the warmth of her skin and the slight rise just at the edge of his fingertips. Mikasa removed her hand from his mouth and followed the curve of his face with her fingers, touching playfully at his lips before turning to lead him from the room.

Jean stood, letting the blankets fall away behind him. The cold floor caused him to shiver, but the goose flesh he felt along his chest and neck had already been there. He saw the lump that must be Eren asleep in his bed across the room and realized that he didn't give a shit about him and everything that seemed to go his way, all he had ever really envied him for was Mikasa, and that obviously didn't matter now.  _'Don't fucking think about Jaeger, dumbass, and don't say a goddamn word.'_  She paused for a moment in the doorway, her eyes beckoning as she slipped around the corner. Jean could now see that she wore her boots as well, but little enough under the skirt that went with the maneuver gear.  _'Sweet heavens,'_ he thought, unable to grasp for little else in the swimming chaos. This was getting into unfamiliar territory.

He paid very little attention to his surroundings as he followed a few steps behind her, unable to convince himself to catch up to her swaying gait.  _'Oh my god.'_  Mikasa had always been very direct, maybe even overly simplistic in her approach at times, but he hadn't expected this... even if he'd hoped for it. God, he barely wanted to question it for sake of jinxing the whole thing. Finally she stopped in front of the training compound door, grabbing his pants by the waistband and pulling him through roughly.  _'Holy shit, fuck, fuck, fuck... just be cool and don't say anything, follow her lead'_.

Yanking him against her, Mikasa pulled his face down to hers and kissed him. Jean shivered as he felt the bare skin of her lower back, his hand pulling them closer. Mikasa pushed him away and against a wall, "you touch me when I let you touch me, Kirschtein, or else I'm going to have to keep those hands tied... and you are going to want to use them later."

"Your rules," he managed to stammer, letting himself be pinned against the wall as she hungrily kissed him again. He closed his eyes as she bit his lip playfully and moved his hands to her waist, his fingers curling around her bare flesh as his thumbs pressed against her hips. Her smooth skin and lean abdomen sent tingles down his spine as she allowed him to run his hands along her side. Mikasa leaned in close to his ear and gave a soft moan. Reaching into his pants, she slowly toyed him with the tips of her fingers, finally wrapping them around the base of his cock and squeezing tightly. He shuddered, his mind wandering in its blissful abandon. Honestly, and he kind of hated to admit this to himself, but he kind of wished there was more of a buildup before this. Not that he was at all hesitant about tonight, but what if this was just some play to get Jaeger jealous and interested in her? He wasn't experienced with this type of thing, should he try to slow her down?  _'Fuck, don't think about Jaeger, analyze this tomorrow or never, get it together Jean!'_

Mikasa let go, sliding her hands around his neck and pulling his head back down to hers. Jean couldn't help but think that she kissed how she fought, holding nothing back and taking what was hers. Her lips were soft but forceful, her tongue inviting and her eyes more alive than he'd ever seen them. He moved his lips toward her neck and began to kiss her slowly, moving slowly downward. She moaned again, but this time it wasn't a playful moan to tantalize him, but full of a famished longing.  _'Thank god I joined the Survey Corps'_ , he thought, keeping his hands pressed against her hips. Mikasa's fingers gripped his hair tightly as she guided him downward and between her breasts. She shrugged out of her jacket, tossing it aside and stepping away from him so that he could get a full view. Taking her red scarf, she tossed it lightly over his head, pulling him toward the center of the room. "Mind assisting me with these?" she asked, pulling the training cables down from the ceiling and handing him one.

"Sure, uh..."

"Do keep up, will you? You remember how to do this." Mikasa slipped her cable into gear on one side, indicating him to do the same on her other. He followed suit and she hoisted herself about a foot off the ground and pulled him closer, wrapping her legs tightly around his waist. He shivered again, hesitating a second before allowing himself to be pulled back to her breasts. Mikasa arched her back under his touch, her breath coming in sharp intakes. "Oh god... " Her legs squeezed tighter around him, his chest feeling the warmth between them. "Have you been watching me Jean? Is this what you were looking for?"

"Yes, well... I've uh..." he stammered, again, trying to pull his attention back to her face. God, why was it so hard to think and speak when he was around her?

"It's your vocabulary here that is disappointing," she said playfully, mocking his voice from that fateful day in Trost. "Pretty boy like you should be used to this type of attention." She arched her back away from him and Jean kissed her stomach, lifting her in the harness. Mikasa leaned toward him again, balancing herself against the maneuver gear harness with a natural grace that still amazed him. Jean's arms flexed as he hoisted her higher, his heart threatening to beat out of his chest as she swung her legs up on either of his shoulders. Her hands tugged softly at his hair as he kissed her inner thighs experimentally, the flats of her feet pressed against his back as she stretched in ecstatic release. She moaned again, much louder this time than before and with true abandon in its timbre. Some part of his mind registered how much noise they must be making now, but he didn't care. What did any of that matter now that he was with her?

"Oh god, Jean... lower me back down... I need you..." she stammered, finally seeming to have lost her cool, her normally calm exterior melting as she stretched again in pleasure, her fingers digging painfully into his shoulder. She swung smoothly forward, grasping at his pants and nearly tearing them at the seams as she struggled to rip them away. He stumbled toward her, unbalanced as she kicked the last of his shorts off before pulling him down toward her. He pressed against her, supported by the maneuver cables that held her above the ground. Mikasa leaned back, her fingers curled tightly around the cables and wrapped her legs around Jean, forcefully pulling his hips against hers. He grazed against her flesh and the breath caught in his chest, his back tingling mercilessly. "Jean, I need you inside me now, I'm yours, take me" she half yelled, her eyes all wild abandon and insatiable hunger. He felt her slick against him and slid forward, feeling the resistance give as he plunged into her.

Jean arched forward, his face flushed and breath ragged as his mind spun in confusion, grasping for anything familiar. His balance whirled and he felt the bed beneath, bracing himself as if he had fallen. The room was dark all around him, his blankets tangled around him in sweaty confusion.  _'God damn it, but fuck that felt real.'_  Jean lay back, trying to catch his breath as he wiped sweat from his brow. He could feel a wetness on the inside of his leg and knew he'd have to change his shorts. He thought he'd been through with puberty and these fucking dreams, weren't titans enough to deal with? "Are you alright? You were groaning in your sleep and shuddering, do you have a fever?" Eren's face leaned closer to his, the vague signs of concern etched across his face in the darkness.

"God, what is it Eren?! Will you get out of my face!" Jean hissed, betraying the building frustration inside of him.  _'Fucking Jaeger, but it isn't his fault.'_ He coughed weakly, trying to push himself up against the wall behind his bed and face Eren. "Sorry, I didn't mean to snap, just a... dream..."

Eren looked away, his posture softening as he hunched forward. "I understand, I still have them after six years too, sometimes I wonder if they will ever fade. It's just that... Well, let me know if you ever need someone to talk to, we are roommates after all. We should start acting like it and learn to trust each other."

Jean could feel the his cheeks burning scarlet and was silently thankful for the heavy darkness between them. "Thanks, but I don't think I will ever want to talk about this one." He didn't expect to be getting much sleep again tonight.


	2. An Unfortunate Promotion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mikasa's resolve is challenged while Armin and Eren receive a dangerous new assignment.

**Chapter 2: An Unfortunate Promotion**

Mikasa knocked firmly on Eren's door, the sound of the wood echoing softly along the stone corridor that led to the main building of the compound. Levi, the midget that had severely beaten Eren during his trial before Darius Zackley, had called for a number of the new recruits from the 104th Trainee Corps to appear before him this morning for a meeting before breakfast. Eren trusted him, but Mikasa couldn't bring herself to do the same. It wasn't that he had used violence (though she did not forgive him that either), nor that some among the military thought him stronger than even her, but something about his attitude and muted expressions that set her instincts on edge. Eren didn't always know what was in his best interest, but at least she was here to protect him.

Mikasa knocked again, this time more loudly. She may not like the corporal, but it wouldn't do to have Eren showing up late again. "Hah? What is it?" came Jean's voice from inside. He had been assigned as Eren's roommate, maybe in an effort to force them to get along. They had fought often enough in their three years of training, but those had been boyhood scuffles like the ones Eren had always managed to get into in Zhiginshina in that year before the titans came. No, Jean wasn't a threat to Eren, not like this corporal Levi could be. It was true that he had helped save Eren from the female titan in the forest, but that did little to dissuade her fears.

The door opened but stopped abruptly as Jean's eyes met hers. He hesitated, blushing profusely before opening it further. "Oh, uh, hi Mikasa. Were you called to meet with the corporal this morning as well?"

"Yes, as is Eren and the rest of the top graduates. I believe he wishes to choose his new squad."

"I suppose we will be sticking together then, that's, uh, very good." Jean put his hand in his hair, blushed, and looked down again. "All of us, I mean."

"Not Armin, he didn't graduate in the top ten. Squad Levi had six members before, do you think he will have ten in his squad this time? It seems like too many for a special ops group..." said Eren, ticking his fingers off as he thought.

"Nine, Eren. She will not be joining us." Mikasa bit back a frown, Eren's thoughts on Annie had changed very little since he had learned her true identity as the female titan. It had taken his near death and the deaths of many other members of the Survey Corps for him to finally take arms against her. Even then he had hesitated and allowed her to escape into that crystal cocoon. Mikasa had always known that he might not feel the same way about her as she felt about him, but if he loved Annie? That was too much, this would be the death of him, but whatever she did or said just seemed to push him closer to her. It had always been that the hardest person to protect Eren from was himself.

"Oh... yes, of course. Let's head over there already, I don't want to be late again." Eren finished putting on his standard issue jacket and came to the door, the smallest traces of guilt marking the corners of his eyes. Jean shuffled past them, mumbling something about taking the lead. "I'm sorry, Mikasa," Eren whispered once Jean had walked out of earshot, "I just want to understand this thing as much as anyone, and she must know something." She knew that there was more than this, but instead swallowed her words and nodded. He did not look at her again.

"Thank you all for coming," said the corporal. The little neat freak was as polished as ever, but Mikasa could sense his agitation. For the first time she could see exhaustion replacing the normal boredom in his eyes. Their glances crossed and Mikasa did not bear the scowl she had often reserved for him, he had just lost the only ones he could call his family, a pain she was all too familiar with.  _'Eren's wounds heal so quickly, but the rest of us are left with scars,'_ she thought, feeling the branded skin1 underneath her long sleeves.

"I know that your training days ended not so long ago, but as soldiers you have witnessed more than your share of action. I won't bore you with a speech of your duty or the prestige of our special operations squad. You've all shared in tragedy... and seen unthinkable things. I've asked you here to join my squad. Some of you may not trust me," here his glance stopped on Mikasa briefly before continuing, "and if you cannot trust me you may leave. This afternoon we begin training again and I will review your assignments, arrive on time if you plan to arrive at all. You are dismissed."

He knew that she didn't trust him; was that a challenge to see if she would leave Eren? If he thought he could rid of her that easily, then he...

"Mikasa, stay behind please."

She watched Eren leave with the others, talking animatedly about working with one of humanity's greatest heroes. Jean looked back briefly before hurrying along toward the mess hall; Eren did not.

"I wanted to speak with you a moment, Mikasa."

"Yes."

"I know how you feel about me and what I did to Eren, but I'm not going to apologize for my actions. I will act in whatever manner I believe is in humanity's best interest and I will not shy from doing what is necessary. But can you do the same? Erwin seems to think that you could have your own squad and Shadis swears by your name to the 105th as we speak."

"But you think me incapable?"

"I think it irrelevant. You will follow Eren to protect him, even if it means breaking formation and opening our flank at a critical moment. You follow this," Levi pointed to his own heart, "but not this," this time pointing to his head. "You are obviously skilled, but you don't think and you don't trust anyone. If you can't change that, I can't trust you to work as a member of my team, alright? I've read the reports from the Military Police and I understand your... obsession. I'm not asking you to forget that, but ask yourself if Eren was acting for you or acting for himself."

Mikasa stared back at him, the fury within her snuffed like a candle in the night. "I'm sorry, about what happened," and she was surprised to find that she meant it.

"So am I." As Levi turned to leave, Mikasa could see the outlines of stitching on the back of his cloak; four small shields meticulously centered along his spine. She did not doubt that the inside of his cloak now boasted the patches recovered from his former squad members.

* * *

Armin sat down across from squad leader Hanji Zoe, her head resting quietly in her hands as she slouched over her desk. "Squad leader, I'm sorry to interrupt you, but you asked me to meet you here this morning?" Her head snapped up at the sound of his voice, her hair mussed and pulled into a careless ponytail. She fumbled for her glasses before squinting at Armin.

"Arlert, yes of course." Even in her apparent fatigue Armin could recognize the excitement in her voice. "Forgive me, I've been up all night again with the Leonhart girl. It is quite a puzzle, I'm not even sure what the material encasing her is, but it breaks blast-furnace steel, fascinating isn't it?"

Armin couldn't help but agree. Her enthusiasm was contagious, though he knew that he should be feeling more betrayed about Annie's true identity than he felt now. But what was the use of that if they gained nothing from it? He'd always known that they would have to sacrifice their own humanity to save it.

"I'm not giving up hope on trying to open the crystal, but maybe we should focus on other avenues."

"Like trying to teach Eren to use those powers as well?"

"Yes, that exactly. It is clear that the female titan is similar in kind to Eren, the armored titan, and the colossal titan, but there are also characteristics they do not share. Maybe these are personal traits embodied in their titan forms? There is so much we still don't know." Hanji appeared to have regained her momentum, grabbing some spare food from a cold plate beside her notes and eating as she spoke. "I've heard from Erwin how you deduced the titan's identity and I've requested that you be assigned to my squad."

While Armin knew that this meant he wouldn't be spending as much time with Eren and Mikasa, he couldn't help but feel relieved. He felt that his strengths lay more in this direction and he would finally have a chance to make a difference. He still hated himself for that moment in Trost when he'd given up, telling Connie and Mikasa to go on without him. He'd just wanted to end the pain he felt every time he saw his grandfather's hat or thought of his parents crossing beyond the wall to see the world2, leaving him behind without a second thought.

"Arlert?"

"I'm sorry, it would be an honor, squad leader Hanji. When do we begin?"

"Good, good! So many things to learn, it is best that we start while we can. For now we have a chance to make up some ground. There are no known titans within wall Rose at this point, but many unanswered questions, and it may be a while before we are authorized to proceed with the plan to return to Zhiginshina. The Military Police are investigating the titan within Wall Sina and I've been trying learn more about Leonhart's hardening ability. The fact that it appears similar to the armored titan's hardened exterior makes me think that Eren must also be able to do this." Hanji stood, stretching and lifting the jacket from her chair back. She shrugged into it hurriedly, holding the half-eaten bread in her mouth as she straightened her clothing quickly. "I would like you to begin working with me for now on Leonhart, then later with Eren once he feels sufficiently recovered. This may sound simple, but we cannot discuss this publicly. Commander Erwin believes that the Military Police would use any excuse they can find to gain power over the Survey Corps and Eren's continued assignment with us was contingent on certain guidelines."

"I see, if they know he is practicing his transformations, Zackley could court martial the commander and the corporal for treason." Armin was beginning to see the many threads that spanned this tangled web, each of them singing with the promise of potential destruction. Who, or what, held the ends? "I do have one question though, how can we ensure that Eren is able to control himself in titan form?"

"Only you have been able to influence him while in his titan form, maybe you should be asking yourself that question. You can begin discussing this with Eren in private for now. The corporal and commander are also aware of this assignment, but until we learn more, let's avoid telling others." Hanji walked to the door and opened it, signaling for Armin to follow. "But today we start with Annie Leonhart. We must find out what we can while we have the chance."

* * *

Eren stood quietly in the dark, staring at his reflection in the hard crystal. Annie was just below the thick, indestructible material; her face serene and motionless as it had been for days. Eren wished he felt the same, but doubts and questions were tearing him apart from the inside.  _'Why did you do it, Annie?'_

Eren sat and leaned his back against the crystal. Right now most of his friends would be helping with cleanup from breakfast or doing their chores, he had maybe another twenty minutes before he would need to check in with the rest of the squad. Not for the first time, he wondered why he kept coming down here. She had betrayed them after all, she'd even killed a number of his friends and comrades. None of it made any sense.

Annie hadn't been bubbly and likeable like Krista, she had been hard and silent, but never cruel or evil. He'd seen her transform, seen her kill and try to kill, but it just didn't add up. When they'd fought as trainee's all those years ago she had pointed out something that even the instructors were too afraid to admit. Their system was designed to be broken, designed to reward the strong with luxury and leave the weak on the front lines to be slaughtered. If she saw that and recognized the injustice of it, how could she still do what she did? And why couldn't he forget how exhilarating it was to fight her, to be around her.

She had been in his dreams ever since the fight in Stohess, every single night. He'd thought about her before, thought about her a lot, but this was different. He had wanted to be more than friends but never acted on the impulse, but now he felt as if they were connected. Two people with the same gift, or curse, fighting battles that neither of them had started. He couldn't accept that she'd just gone berserk... there had to be someone else behind this. And some way to get her out of it, set her free from whatever had made her do this. Standing again, Eren placed his hand against the cold surface of the crystal and whispered, "I'm going to find a way to save you, whatever it takes..."

At the sound of footsteps Eren backed away from Annie. Armin and squad leader Hanji were coming down the stairs, talking of research and theories. He didn't want to be seen down here, Mikasa had been becoming increasingly agitated about him after Stohess. "Oh, Eren? You're here?" spoke Hanji as she approached.

"Yes, I was just wondering about the uh... hardened material. Do you know anything about it?"

"We are all looking for answers it seems. Armin and I were discussing the matter actually, we can bring you up to speed now if you have some time."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (1) I know they don't show this part in the anime, but in the manga we see Mikasa have her skin branded by her mother as part of a ritual/tradition within their family. I like this imagery a lot more and may choose to use as a plot device later, so I figured I would be clear what I'm referring to.
> 
> (2) I feel like someone told me that his parents had died in the mission to reclaim Wall Maria where 20% of the population died, but I don't think this is the case. There was that scene with Eren where they were talking about the book he'd found (about the outside world) and he was like, "Eren don't tell anyone but my parents are going outside the wall," and Eren was pretty much ignoring him and thinking about snow or something.


	3. Awkward Encounters

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mikasa opens up to Armin while Jean tries to deal with his overactive hormones, each with mixed results. Krista gets whatever the fuck she wants.

**Chapter 3: Awkward Encounters**

Mikasa paced uneasily around the empty room she shared with Sasha. She'd stressed over Eren before, for years in fact. Have to keep Eren out of fights, have to keep Eren from running off to join the Survey Corps, have to keep Eren safe. She'd loved him ever since he had saved her, wearing the scarf until it became a part of who she was... but did he feel the same about her? She knew he didn't think of her that way, but did he think of her when she was away or worry about her during a mission? She wished she had someone to talk to about all of this, but her first instinct would be to talk to him. Maybe Armin could help? Honestly, she felt embarrassed that she had never confided in him before.

Mikasa stood outside Armin's door, listening quietly to the muted argument in the room beyond. It wasn't Eren's voice... maybe that was Ymir...? She knocked just loud enough to be heard over the conversation, but hopefully not too loud that they would think she heard. The voices dropped abruptly as hurried footsteps echoed toward the door.

"Oh, Mikasa," Armin looked relieved and invited her in. Ymir was standing by Armin's bed with her arms crossed and wearing a frustrated scowl.

"I'm done anyway, Armin. Just don't make me come back here to  _reiterate._  Alright?"

"I was just asking Krista what her interests were, she is always so nice and I thought, well..."

"Her interests are 'not getting eaten', just like everyone else, alright? Push off." Armin raised his hands showing that he'd gotten the message and stepped aside for Ymir to leave. She left, not giving Mikasa a second glance.

"Thanks for saving me there, Mikasa. Did Connie tell you she came over here?"

"No, I came to talk about Eren."

"Oh... well, okay. What's the problem?" Armin looked around the room and offered the edge of his bed to Mikasa.

"Eren's just... distant. More than ever. I know he'd had some feelings for Annie during training, but it's only gotten worse since he learned that she was the female titan. I always knew he wasn't  _really_  noticing me, I guess that just didn't mean as much until he noticed someone else." Mikasa couldn't find anything to do with her hands, fidgeted mindlessly with the scarf that dangled into her lap.

"Yeah, I guess he has been spending a lot of time down in the basement with Annie's crystal. Though maybe he's just looking for some kind of kinship? We haven't heard of anyone else being able to become a titan, he probably just feels alone." Kinship, Armin had said. Wasn't Mikasa supposed to be Eren's family, wasn't that enough anymore? And he'd been spending time down with the crystal too? She hadn't even know that... Armin looked concerned and Mikasa realized she must have been letting it show, she never let her guard down normally, "maybe he was just looking for clues to learn to harden himself as well, to be a better fighter?" Armin ventured hesitantly.

"I don't know Armin, maybe this was a bad idea. I don't like to open..."

"No, Mikasa, it's alright. We don't have to talk about it unless you want to, okay? Maybe try not to think about him for a little while. It's been tough these past few months, I think he will get through it and come back around in his own time. Don't be offended, but why are you coming to me now?"

"It's just that..." Mikasa hesitated, she wasn't even entirely sure why she'd come. She'd never really spent any time thinking about the future, it had always been simple, just follow Eren. Eren always had his dreams of seeing the outside world, Armin too, but what were her dreams? What did she want for herself? "...before I met Eren, I just wanted to grow up and have a family. My parents met when they were sixteen and married only a few years later, but they were killed before they were thirty. And they were farmers,  _before_  the wall fell." It's a cruel world, but love had made it beautiful for them, for her. "I just... before I die..." Mikasa struggled with her composure, it felt as if floodgates kept closed for so many years were yearning to break forth. She breathed deeply, collecting herself, "I'd like to know what it feels like to be loved." In that moment, she knew that it was true.

Armin looked taken aback. "You know that Eren and I both love you, Mikasa..."

Mikasa quieted him with a glance. "I want to feel loved like I've loved Eren. I don't want to feel like... like half a person anymore. In this life, I don't expect to survive for long. I just want to feel whole again, at least once before I die."

Armin sat quietly, staring motionless at the floor for what seemed like an eternity. "I... I think I understand. Just to know you aren't alone."

* * *

Jean set down the scrub brush, rinsing his hands to wash away the soap from morning dishes. He'd just finished being scolded by Corporal Levi for leaving  _'too much residue'_  on the plates again, then a second time for not finishing cleaning in time to make it to this morning's squad duties. Yesterday, Levi had told him that he would be helping train some of the 105th Trainee Squad while Instructor Shadis was in military hearings about Ann... about the female titan. As one of the top rated in his class, Jean would be working with the trainees on their aerial maneuvers... as would Mikasa. Jean took a deep breath and steeled himself for today's encounter, making sure to hang the apron correctly to avoid another Levi encounter.

Jean hadn't had a repeat of the previous night's dream, but he'd had trouble falling asleep again. Normally his dreams were fleeting and faded so quickly after waking, but this one had lingered, making any interactions with Mikasa... difficult. He would just have to push through today, he'd already made it through breakfast easily enough. ' _Focus Jean, you've known Mikasa for years, cool yourself alright?'_ Entering the training room, Jean grabbed his maneuver gear from the storage lockers and signed out his equipment from the ledger. Turning to the assembled class, he found Mikasa already strapped into her harness, eyes focused on him with a look of reproach. Other than the fact that she was currently wearing clothes, the image was a near perfect match to the one that had lodged itself so thoroughly into his memory.  _'How in the world am I going to make it through this class? Think of titans or Eren or something, anything to keep your mind occupied!'_  As he made his way over to Mikasa, Jean tried to ignore his clammy hands and short breaths, silently thankful that the maneuver gear and skirt hid the bulge that was forming below his belt.

For the rest of the day, Jean was mostly successful in avoiding Mikasa. The class had been an utter disaster as far as he was concerned. He had handled the maneuver gear well enough and Mikasa had been graceful as ever, but he was sure that she had caught him staring at her or blushing on multiple occasions. He had another hour before he was expected in the kitchen to help prepare dinner with Connie, a perfect opportunity to hit the exercise room and work off some of his frustration. Jean switched into his workout gear and made his way to the training rooms, carefully avoiding the girls' rooms as he did so. As he entered the doorway, his eyes met with Mikasa's.  _'So much for avoiding an awkward confrontation,'_  he though, noticing that the room was empty except for themselves. It was too late to turn back and leave now, she had already noticed him and would definitely realize that he had been avoiding her.

She must have sensed his uneasiness, or maybe he hadn't hidden the panic in his face as well as he'd thought, but Mikasa met his stare with a scowl. "What's going on with you, Jean? Do you have a problem with me?"

"No, not at all, just trying to get a workout in. Don't want to, uh, lose my gains..."

"You showed up twenty minutes late to our session with the trainee corps, you barely said a word the whole time we were there, and you've been staring at me over and over every time we run into each other. You are up to something and I don't like it." Her eyes were narrowed and she made her way toward him, not unlike a wildcat stalking its prey. "Is this something about Eren? What did you do?"

He could feel the heat rising in his face, but he didn't care. "Why the  _fuck_  does everything have to be about Eren all the time?"

"Stop avoiding my questions, what is your problem with me?" Mikasa stepped closer to Jean, making her way onto the sparring mat. "Let's have it out, right here, right now." He could understand that maybe he'd been bothering her, but she was livid right now, he'd never seen her like this. Even when angry or upset, Mikasa had always kept her cool; there was something else going on here that he didn't understand. If Mikasa wanted a fight she would get one, there was no backing down now.

"Fine, but this was your idea." He had a few inches of reach on her, but her hand to hand combat was definitely beyond his skill. He moved into a fighting stance and focused his eyes at her chest so that he could see any attack she threw from his periphery. Big mistake. Mikasa had been working out for a short while before Jean arrived; her skin glowed from the exercise and her abs glistened with a thin sheen of sweat, beads slowly rolling down between her breasts as she bounced on the balls of her feet, ready to fight.  _'Fuck. I've got no chance now.'_

Mikasa was quick and fluid, but she was fighting reckless. Jean could sense that she was throwing her own frustration into her swings, holding nothing back, but he was nimble enough to avoid letting her land anything but a few glancing blows. Switching tactics, Jean moved into striking range and swung high at Mikasa. He knew it had been far too obvious and she would dodge it easily, but his intention had been to force her to back off a moment while he could catch his breath. In her rage, however, she was fighting sloppily and his fist caught her across the jaw, cutting her lip open. Mikasa dodged back, surprised, and holding her hand to her lip in disbelief. Whenever blood was drawn during training the sparring partners would pause to stem the flow. It wasn't so much that the injury could cause any possible harm, but that a potential mess would lead to a very stern talking to from the corporal.

"I'm sorry..." Jean confessed, unable to pull his stare from her full lips, shining slightly with the few drops of blood that flecked them. Mikasa ignored him, bending to pick up a towel as Jean watched her long legs and shapely... _'Easy now Jean, you probably already pissed her off more than she already was, god knows what is going on.'_  Thankfully, he was able to avert his gaze before she caught him staring. As they continued their fight, Jean went back to focusing on evasion and keeping his distance, hoping to find another opportunity to catch her off guard.

"Stop running away and fucking fight me, damn it!" she yelled as he danced around the edge of the mat. Jean had never seen her eyes so wild before, he stepped forward to take a swing and narrowly avoided a hook to his jaw. He did not, however, avoid the jab to his gut.

Pain washed over his senses, his head spinning and his lungs gasping for air.  _'Holy shit she is strong!'_  He haphazardly blocked another hook before she swept him off his feet with a low spinning kick. The floor came up to meet the back of his head, hard, and Jean saw stars as his vision blinked in and out. Before he could move she was on him, pinning him to the ground and twisting his leg painfully to the side. As she pivoted, she leaned against his crotch. Jean tried to break free but was painfully aware that he had become fully aroused during their fight. He couldn't focus on anything, the pain in his leg was agonizing but he could feel her hip rubbing directly against him through the thin fabric of his shorts. As she tightened her hold he gasped, feeling himself throb against her through the pain.

Mikasa loosened her hold and shifted away from him, sitting back on the mat and staring at him. The anger was gone for now, her expression confused and accusing. Jean grabbed his leg, trying to stretch out the cramp that was quickly developing there, hiding his burning face as best he could. "What... why did you do that? What was that supposed to..."

"I didn't do it on purpose. Sometimes that happens... I'm sorry."

"Why have you been acting so strange?" Her tone had softened, all the frustration and anger apparently placated by the opportunity to cause physical harm. Whatever was bothering her seemed to have been forgotten for the moment.

"I just, well, I'm sorry... I have to go..." Jean got up quickly, avoiding Mikasa's glance and forcing himself not to leave the room at a dead run. He needed a cold shower, now. God, what was happening to him, why couldn't he keep his cool?

Jean was halfway across the complex before he realized that he'd gone down the corridor to the girls' rooms. There wasn't another exit from this part of the base, he'd have to retrace his steps to get back to his room. Turning, Jean heard footsteps echoing from up ahead.  _'Shit! That's probably Mikasa now, where can I hide?'_ A quick glance took in Mikasa's room and the room that Krista and Ymir shared. The first wasn't an option, so Jean quickly crossed to the other door.

Krista's lilting voice could be heard on the other side, "You didn't have to be so rude to Armin!" He would have to worry about the intrusion later. Jean took his chances and slipped into the room, opening and closing the door as quietly as he could manage. Listening carefully at the door, Jean heard Mikasa's footsteps pass by and the door close behind her. He realized he had been holding his breath.

At the sound of Ymir's muffled moan, Jean turned, taking in the scene behind him for the first time. Ymir lay naked on one of the beds, her legs trussed at her ankles and her hands gripping Krista's thighs tightly as the smaller girl sat on her face, both apparently oblivious to Jean's presence. Krista's head was turned away from Jean, one hand gripping Ymir's hair as her hips rode rhythmically back and forth with reckless abandon. "You did that on purpose didn't you?" Krista asked Ymir playfully, her breathing heavy with effort as her small, perky breasts bounced lightly. "You wanted me to punish you, didn't you?"

Jean shuddered uncontrollably. He could feel himself throbbing against his pants again as his hand searching aimlessly for the door handle, unable to pull his eyes away from the scene before him. He fumbled with the door and the latched snapped back louder than he thought possible.  _'Shit!'_  thought Jean, slamming the door behind him and running down the hall as fast as his feet could carry him.  _'What the fuck is going on in this place?'_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I haven't read much of the manga, so I feel like I only really have a vague sense of how Ymir/Krista/Connie/Sasha act other than a few simple things. Since this is all for fun anyway, I may play around with these characters a bit and expand their personalities, so they may go ooc from time to time.


	4. Change In Assignment

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jean receives news on a new assignment while Armin's advice leads to a repeat encounter.

**Chapter 4: Change In Assignment**

"I can't believe you told her, what the heck Armin!" complained Eren, pent up frustration coming to a boiling point.

"Well I didn't know it was a _secret_ , Eren, otherwise I wouldn't have done so. You played it off like you were down there for the same reason we were, you could have at least told me after..."

Eren sighed. Maybe Armin was right, all of this felt so crazy anyway. Every new piece of information he found just led to more questions, more weird feelings he couldn't explain... He wished he knew where his dad was, why had he abandoned them in all of this madness? He and Mikasa could have died any number of times and he would never have known, didn't he even care?

"I am sorry though, Eren. Mikasa has been stressed out lately and I was just trying to..."

"Mikasa? Stressed out? More like stressing me out," said Eren, waving away Armin's protests. "When should we start practicing by the way? Do you have any theories yet? I think we should get started as soon as possible, maybe mastering this would help figure out a way to open that crystal."

Armin shrugged, "we should start this afternoon if Corporal Levi will give you the second half of the day off, but Eren," Armin added cautiously, his tone pleading yet persistent. "I think our first order of business should be to figure out your transformation and what is preventing your control. Commander Erwin was right when he told Zackley that the most dangerous thing was not knowing what you couldn't control. After lunch let's find a place to discuss this in private, I am going to need you to be fully honest with me. I know there is something bothering you."

Eren laughed, his hand nervously scratching the back of his neck. "Am I that obvious? And sorry for snapping at you earlier, I know you didn't mean any harm. Anyway, let's go get some breakfast, if I'm going to be practicing this afternoon I should make sure I've had my fill!"

Eren bounded from the room in markedly higher spirits than he'd entered. Armin couldn't muster the same level of enthusiasm. He trusted Eren with his life and had been rewarded for that trust many times, but Eren in his titan form simply wasn't Eren. His passion ruled him too much, he was unrestrained and couldn't think straight. In Trost, the reports said, he'd tried to kill _Mikasa_. Armin didn't have any delusions about his skill with the maneuver gear compared to her, but he hoped that Eren had grown and gained more control since then. It was probably just hormones blown out of proportion, but he'd have to get to the depth of the issue soon enough. Armin would have to tell Hanji that the training would begin on schedule. Before leaving the room he shared with Connie, Armin went to the window and tried to latch it shut, but the latch had been warped so that it no longer closed properly. ' _Sasha and Connie up to it again,'_ he thought. Hopefully he wouldn't be on the receiving end of their next practical joke, things were difficult enough as it was without making up new crises.

* * *

 

Jean sat silently at the breakfast table, his forehead resting on the cold wood as he pondered this travesty he called a life. At least Mikasa _probably_ wasn't mad at him, though things would surely be as awkward before. On the bright side, at least they would be awkward for both of them and not just him... the little victories, he supposed, were still worth celebrating. Hearing a rustle in front of him, Jean raised his eyes to find Krista leaning over the table, her face bright and full of jubilant cheer.

"Oh god, Krista, I..." Jean stammered, yet another face he couldn't see without blushing. Krista slide him a small, folded note, the outside signed with his name and a little heart in the upper right-hand corner. Opening it, Jean read _'DO YOU THINK THIS IS A FUCKING GAME KIRSCHTEIN?'_ in Krista's flowing script. Jean shivered, how had everyone read this girl so wrong? Or maybe she was just like this when she was...

"Unless, of course," Krista added, blushing slightly as she spoke, "you are into watching from the corner. I don't mind trying new things and I'm sure Ymir..."

"No, no, uh... no I think I will, um, be alright. And I swear I won't tell a soul." Krista smiled, indicating that that would have to do before making her way to the kitchen to help prepare breakfast with Bertholdt and Reiner. At least with Bertholdt cooking today the eggs were sure to be delicious, he was almost as good as Marco had been. There was something about the way that Marco threw himself into everything he did that made it that much more wonderful, that much more worth the effort. _'I miss you buddy, I'm sure you'd know just the right thing to say to cheer me up right now.'_

"Get your forehead off the table, Jean," came Levi's tired drawl. "I don't want you teenagers staining the wood with your oily skin. This is a survey corps relic hewn from trees outside the wall, wipe it down before _and_ after breakfast," said the corporal, his usual look of mild disdain casting unseen shadows across the room.

"Yeah... okay." Jean lifted his head slowly, giving the table a compulsory wipe with the sleeve of his shirt. Unfortunately this did little to placate Levi, his face now contorted into a look of mild disgust as he stared vacantly at Jean's sleeve.

"Instructor Shadis has returned to Wall Rose after his interviews with Zackley and the Military Police, your efforts with the trainee corps will no longer be required. In a few days, the larger part of the survey corps will be making a restocking mission to our secondary headquarters at Karanes." Here the corporal leaned in toward Jean and spoke softly, "officially you and Ackerman will be a part of that mission, but instead you will be riding to Wall Sina under cover of darkness, do you understand?"

Jean nodded, slowly, "you want us to investigate the titan inside the..."

Levi nodded curtly. "The Military Police cannot be trusted, whether from treachery or incompetence. That is your sole directive, the commander and I trust you two to act according to your judgment. Secrecy is, of course, paramount in this endeavor. I will tell Ackerman myself this afternoon."

Everything was coming so fast. _'A member of Squad Levi for two days and already planning a covert mission... against our own military... everything is so much more convoluted than it ought to be.'_ Why couldn't humans just get along? There was too much at stake to stop trusting each other now. "I understand corporal," Jean continued in muted tones, "but, if you don't mind me asking, why me?"

"You and Ackerman are obviously both very skilled with your maneuver gear. She is the best soldier in your corps, but only you and Arlert have a head on your shoulders worth mentioning." Levi stood, pausing briefly to give Jean a determined look. "Don't prove me wrong on that."

A clandestine mission with just him and Mikasa? There were times when Jean would easily have risked almost anything for an opportunity like this, but the last few days had set everything into perspective. He'd been hung up on Mikasa for so many years but where had gotten him? A bruised rib and a broken ego? It wasn't even that Jean was afraid of looking for other options, he'd certainly found himself looking at many of his fellow soldiers, all of them in incredible shape and understanding everything he'd been through. He'd just been so out of the game since he started training over three years ago, who had the time to meet people outside? Who'd want to go out with someone when any day could be the one they don't come back?

"Something wrong Jean?" came Armin's voice, pulling him from his trance. He sat down next to Jean, handing him a large plate of eggs and hash and even a little sausage on the side. Jean watched his eyes trail to Krista's note, still folded in front of him. "Oh. Got an unwelcome admirer?" he asked tentatively.

Jean almost snorted in his laughter, god if only that were so. "Uh... not quite. Just another log on my funeral pyre, if you know what I mean."

Armin nodded, beginning to stuff his mouth with a pile of steaming eggs. "This might sound weird, but is there anyone that you, uh, talk to? To help when you are frustrated or scared, I mean."

"Kind of," shrugged Jean. He didn't really want to talk about it. Eren was always so tied up in his own stuff so Jean was pretty sure he hadn't noticed. It had started after Trost, when he had tried to write a letter to Marco's parents to them the news about their son. It had taken days to find the right words, but in the end he had something that he was ready to send. He'd rode to the address that Instructor Shadis had given him to deliver the letter personally, but when he got there he learned that the building was an orphanage. The caretaker had taken the note with tear-laden eyes and assured Jean that it would get to those who'd cared for Marco, and those he'd cared for. Jean didn't know the story, but he'd spent the night under the stars, unable to sleep or ride or do anything but cry. That was the first letter he'd written to Marco, left to burn in the flames so that maybe his words would find their way to him someday.

"Oh, that's good. It just that, well, I'd like to talk to someone if that's alright? Eren is always wrapped up in his own thing and Mikasa gets so focused on him and everything else that..."

Jean looked at Armin, realizing for the first time that he wasn't the only one who hadn't really paired off. Connie and Sasha, Reiner and Bertholdt, Krista and Ymir, Eren and Mikasa, but who'd taken Armin's burdens when they were too much to carry alone? Jean looked back at his breakfast, the soft steam curling off the sausage and potatoes and realized he was as much to blame as anyone else. "Yeah, I'd like that Armin. Thank you."

* * *

 

Mikasa flexed her fingers, ensuring that the hand wrappings she had been putting on did not restrict her movement. The corporal had given them the afternoon off, so Mikasa had made her way to the exercise room to work out some frustration. She had spoken with Armin at length last night while Eren was off somewhere, likely with _the crystal_ again, and he'd suggested maybe that she remove the scarf for a while. Try not to think about Eren for a few days.

Removing the scarf had felt like sacrilege after so long. Of course she didn't bathe with it or work out in it, and often removed it to clean and care for it, but taking it off without the intention of putting it back on just felt _wrong._ She had folded it ever so slowly, making the act a ritual just to prolong the moment before its absence. She shivered involuntarily, running her fingers across where it was normally draped around her neck. Being told to forget about Eren seemed to make it all the more difficult to do so.

As Mikasa entered the exercise room she saw Jean working the bags at the far side, his face red with effort and his chest sweaty and shirtless. Inexplicably she felt a soft flutter in her heart, a faint tinge of something she didn't really understand. She reached for her scarf out of instinct but was left bare against the realization that she had found something about the image desirable to her. It was natural, wasn't it? Jean had always butted heads with Eren, always represented the polar opposite since their first scuffle when they were twelve, maybe in her frustration she was simply rebelling against her natural inclination? It didn't matter, that was not why she had come.

Making her way toward him, Mikasa thought about what had happened yesterday. She'd been so furious with Eren and what he'd said that she broke form and showed her emotions, taking them out on Jean as they sparred. It had felt _good_ though, striking out in anger without holding anything back. She couldn't bring herself to do that with Eren or Armin, but it was different with Jean. Somehow she knew he could take it.

"Oh, Mikasa. Hi." Jean had noted her approach, his eyes quickly swinging to his shirt on the floor before returning to her. "Did you need to use the bags...?"

"Would you spar with me again?" He seemed surprised by this request. "I just, have a lot on my mind and it helps..."

"Sure, yeah, we can do that."

"And I won't be so angry this time, I'm sorry about that yesterday," she assured him, stretching her legs and arms to warm her muscles.

"It's alright, you didn't cause any lasting damage," he chuckled, slipping back into his shirt. Admittedly, she wished he hadn't.

"No, I just meant that I wouldn't let a punch through this time."

"Oh," Jean said cautiously. He took a fighting stance, waiting for her to make the first move. Staring at his arms, Mikasa begin to think about them draped around her, holding her tightly. Warmth rose in her face, ever so slightly. Armin had told her to try to think of other people, had he meant Jean?

Mikasa moved in quickly, throwing a series of jabs to test Jean's reaction time. She hadn't gauged him well in their fight yesterday, she had been so focused on replaying her argument with Eren that she'd barely focused on the fight at all. Jean was quick on his toes, circling around to Mikasa's left to keep away from any right hooks. She side-stepped quickly, cutting off his retreat and throwing up an elbow, forcing him to block. Mikasa allowed her momentum to flow, turning the spin into a low kick at Jean's shins. He grunted and fell toward her, knocking her off balance with his weight. Her mind wandered, wondering how he would feel leaning on top of her, the weight pressing down and his warmth against her chest.

Mikasa blotted the thought from her mind, rolling into his fall, taking him over top her and letting his weight throw him onto the ground next to her. She followed the fall through and raised her fist, poised to strike his exposed throat if he hadn't yielded. What trick had Armin played on her? She'd never thought about anyone like this, not even Eren really. It was frightening, yet exhilarating. Mikasa offered him her hand, helping him to his feet. Jean's eyes met hers, a glint of something more than simple recognition behind them. Had he always looked at her like this? What did it mean? Even though he was the one that yielded, Mikasa wasn't sure she'd won the fight.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oh no i made myself sad


	5. In Preparation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Armin gives advice while Mikasa and Eren prepare for their respective missions.

**Chapter 5: In Preparation**

Eren happily drank the glass of water that Armin handed him. Armin had been fretting again, worry slipping into the corners of his eyes as he watched over Eren. Armin didn't need to be so concerned, but maybe he was right about not pushing it. This had been Eren's fifth session in a row of practicing his titan ability, again after another morning of hard training with his maneuver gear. Levi required that they continue practicing until they could be as fluid as his old squad had been, working together in perfect concert and unspoken harmony. Things were progressing but he still didn't seem pleased, or maybe he was? Eren could never really tell.

"That was better this time, Eren. But I think we need to stop for today, with the expedition so soon..."

"Yeah, I know. It's just, I don't know how to do any of this. I wish I knew how to shut it down so that I didn't have to wait and tire myself out. Then we could get maybe two or three transformations in each practice. If Annie was able to transform and control herself so easily, then maybe..."

"Eren," said Armin forcefully, bringing his attention back to the task at hand. "These practices aren't about how many times you are able to transform, you understand that, right? I want you to  _control_  your transformation and learn to end it when you are complete. That would mean you are able to bring your own thoughts and intentions into the transformation and keep them, despite your desire to stay a titan."

"Yes, of course." That was all well and good, but Armin didn't understand what it felt like. To be that powerful, that alive, that free. Eren could feel the hurricane ripping through his veins as he transformed, like he was being given all the strength and rage that he needed to fight the monsters that were endlessly at their doorstep. He could remember his mission when he transformed, but  _wanting_  to complete it was another matter entirely. "I remember what I'm supposed to want to do, just not how to do it."

How had Annie learned? Her father had taught her hand-to-hand combat, had he taught her this as well? The Military Police were running an investigation on her to find anything about her past or possible accomplices, but he hadn't heard of anything yet. Somehow Eren felt guilty about having captured her; he'd used the same moves she had taught him to help subdue her, it felt like betraying her trust. It was a stupid thought, she'd betrayed everyone after all, but he still couldn't shake the feeling.

"Hey, don't stress about it Eren, I know you can do it. Your control is getting better every time, you just need to take some rest." He gave Eren an encouraging smile.

Eren smiled in spite of himself, it had been nice spending so much time with Armin again. Before the titans had breached the wall, Eren had always imagined that he and Armin and Mikasa would join the survey corps to explore the outside world. Somehow the thought of titans had been distant, even after seeing so many horror-stricken expeditions return through the southern gate. None of the destruction had really meant anything to him.

"How often do you remember your dreams, Eren? Have you ever woken up in them, realized you were dreaming?"

That was a strange question, wake up in his dreams? "I suppose maybe once or twice, but I remember my dreams most nights." He often wished he hadn't. More than he'd like he found himself face to face with the smiling titan that had shattered his life, his legs rooted and his mind in an eternally silent scream.

Armin seemed to be puzzling over something. "Maybe you are having trouble because you don't understand that you aren't a titan? I think that..."

"I know what I am Armin! You of all people should know that I fight with that thought every day!" Eren could feel the anger boiling away inside of him, but his body felt spent.

"No, no, my mistake Eren. What I meant to say was that when you change into a titan, you think of it as your base experience. It feels normal to you, even though it isn't normally what you are. Maybe if you can realize where you are and how you got there  _while in titan form,_  well, maybe you can control it more easily," Armin ended with a non-committal shrug. Maybe that was it; Annie didn't have the doubts he had, she used the female titan as a tool that she controlled, she didn't  _become the titan._  Maybe that made it easier to accept all of this.

Not for the first time his thoughts strayed to the crystal in the darkness, locked away from the sun and prying eyes. Did she sleep now? Did she dream? Eren just wanted to understand, to feel like he wasn't alone in this world. He knew where the answers were, in the basement of his old home; so why couldn't he shake this feeling that he needed to speak to her?

Maybe he was just too afraid to admit that he was jealous; at least she seemed to know what she was fighting for.

* * *

 

Armin finished another hastily eaten dinner at Hanji's desk, his neck aching from craning over diagrams and anatomies. "Eren's getting better, he hasn't been able to transfer back out of his titan form, but maybe that isn't possible. I just want him to realize that he is the rider holding the reins and not the horse."

Hanji nodded, ruffling through a few papers before handing Armin her meticulously copied notes. "That sounds promising, it's too bad we will have to put the practices on hold until we return from the expedition. I only wish I'd been able to make as much progress with the girl. I just don't understand, it seems like the crystal originates from the titan body, but then what could it be constructed from? Their body and flesh aren't much different from ours, in the end. Maybe some form of pressure heated carbon?"

 _'Like a diamond?'_  Armin wondered. That could be it, but it must be extraordinarily tough, forged in the extreme heat of the titan body. They had tried pickaxes but they had quickly dulled or snapped.

Hanji looked up quickly after a pause."We need something diamond tipped. And I don't think brute force is the answer, there must be something that will allow her to exit if she wanted to, maybe something fragmented in the crystalline structure?"

"Should we hire a jewel cutter or craftsman? Though if this location were to be revealed..." Armin could all too easily imagine the colossal or armored titans breaking their way through headquarters to rescue their accomplice. With enough skilled soldiers they could be defeated, it was always a numbers game in the end, but if they came by surprise the effects could be devastating.

"Not many of those on this side of Wall Sina. Oh this is frustrating, we need more time to study her if we want to make any progress! Damn Erwin and his resupply missions. I understand we need to get to Eren's basement for answers, but I have to entertain the possibility that they aren't there or they were destroyed. If we knew more going in, we'd have a much better chance." She hung her head low, stirring the last remnants of her dinner absentmindedly. Armin had been avoiding this last question for nearly an hour now, but there weren't any options left. The opportunity was right now, if they didn't take it, it would be gone forever.

"Squad leader Hanji, who do you think it is?"

She took off her glasses, holding them before her as she stared somberly back at Armin. "I have some theories, but nothing to go on. I'm sorry Armin, but I don't want to tell you. It's not that I don't trust you..."

"I know, you just don't want my judgment colored by it. I understand. It's just, isn't this when we should be most vigilant?" Armin didn't want to say more, who knew who could be listening now.

Her face whitened considerably and Armin knew she must understand. "Are you sure? It's going to be dangerous. If I had my squad..."

"No, we can't do that, it wouldn't work. It has to be this way, it has to be me." Strangely, Armin didn't feel frightened now that he said it. Maybe Mikasa and Eren were right to trust him? When he'd accepted the worst as the probable outcome, somehow everything else just seemed to fall into place. And he was calm. "We will just have to make sure Eren stays with Levi."

"Don't gamble with cards you aren't willing to spare."

Gamble.

She'd said that too, at the very end.  _'My gamble has only begun.'_  What had Annie meant by that? What did she intend to do? The titan in the wall proved that she had to be a part of something much larger, something that Eren's father must somehow be a part of as well, willingly or not. Annie was what mattered now, she was the opponents' queen. And they had used her foolishly.

She'd changed over the years, though maybe few had seen it. Armin doubted any had known about the nights they'd spent under the stars, talking of the world and ideas. She'd been passionate and curious, but she was too afraid to show it. Maybe it was the discipline that made her hide herself, maybe it was being raised that anything but duty was frivolous or weak, he'd never found out. She hadn't been a puzzle to solve back then, just a friend and maybe something more.

They'd kissed one night, secreted away on a hillside as the others finished their chores. He'd been nervous and inexperienced, but so had she. Armin couldn't tell when she'd changed after that, just at some point he realized that she had. At first she was just busy and their schedules didn't match for chores, then she stopped talking to him when they were with other people, then when they were alone. He missed the nights when they'd laid in the grass, knowing that there was someone else in this world that wanted to spend their time with him.

She'd begun training with Eren, even flirting with him some, after her fashion. Armin understood; Eren was taller and stronger and better looking, and he radiated passion. He was like a beacon, but something about him made her dark. Her passion became fury, like something had shriveled inside her when it met his optimism. She became hard. After he'd learned who she was, Armin had mourned the loss of who she had once been and forced himself to move on. Maybe he could learn something from her that could be their salvation, but he didn't think there was anything left of her to save.

* * *

 

Mikasa sat quietly at the edge of Armin's bed, her fingers once again fidgeting where the red scarf had once been. Eren hadn't said anything, she wasn't even sure if he'd noticed she was no longer wearing it. It had bothered her at first, but less than she had thought it would. She hadn't really expected him to notice, maybe that was the root of it all? That she'd known all along that he wouldn't even recognize its absence?

"Feels strange without it?" Armin asked, leaning against his open window.

Mikasa forced herself to put her hands in her lap. "Sometimes." The first day hadn't been bad, but the ones since had felt strange, as if she had only realized its prolonged departure. "I wanted to ask you something. About Jean."

"Jean? Sure..."

Mikasa hesitated, it wasn't as if anything had actually happened _._  "Yes, we've been sparring together. There is something about it that feels...  _different_. It is easy to fight with him. I feel like things are different than with Eren, I'm not as guarded about how I act."

"You've been sparring with Jean? Why?"

Mikasa could feel her temper flare, hadn't Armin told her to spend time with other people? "Yes I have, I don't have to fight with only Eren. I can let go of myself with Jean, I don't have to protect him while I'm fighting with him..."

Armin stopped her with a wave, his eyes apologetic. "No, I'm just surprised you've been sparring instead of practicing the maneuver gear or sword techniques. There isn't much call for hand-to-hand combat, it just seemed odd to practice often."

Was that strange? Their first match she had been angry with Jean and wanted to hit him, but the times after she'd been looking forward to it with anticipation. What did that mean?

Armin glanced up, his eyebrows peaked in understanding. "Maybe this is something physical. I know you are frustrated with Eren and, well, all of  _that_  stuff, maybe your body just needs to release some of that."

"So I should keep fighting him?"

"You could, but I didn't mean sparring. Jean's a nice guy and we know he likes you. You will be spending a lot of time alone soon, might be worth considering."

Jean liked her? Of course he'd told her she was pretty that one time, but that was years ago. He wasn't the type of guy to stick around waiting for a girl, he was a smooth talker and other girls had liked him. Maybe Armin was just trying to cheer her up? If Armin thought it was a good idea though...at least Jean was experienced in that type of thing. She'd never really thought about how little she knew of that world. "I guess. Did Levi tell you about the assignment as well?"

Armin hesitated, his hand quickly moving to his head before he stopped himself, embarrassed. "Oh, yes, but I shouldn't have said anything. Don't tell Levi, alright?"

"I won't." The little prick hadn't tried to call her out since that breakfast where she'd been assigned to his squad, but that didn't mean she would report to him more than what was necessary. Especially if it got Armin in trouble. She tried to copy the reassuring smile that he often gave her, but it felt strange touching her lips. "I will try speaking to Jean about this."

Mikasa waved Armin goodnight as she left, watching him turn to look at the stars out his open window. She would be leaving with Jean under the cover of darkness soon, but she still needed to act as if she were preparing for the expedition. Once things were under way, their absence would be difficult to notice, but the next few hours required that secrecy be maintained. Levi seemed to think that someone had been watching them and Mikasa had to admit that he was probably right.


	6. Starting Fires

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jean learns that the distance to his goal is longer than anticipated.

**Chapter 6: Starting Fires**

Jean cushioned his landing as his boots struck the roof tiles above the girls rooms. He'd told Mikasa that he would signal her when it was time for them to leave, but walking across the headquarters late at night was sure to arouse some suspicion, especially so soon before a large expedition. The corporal had assured Jean that he wouldn't run into any resistance along this path, but the window was narrow. He hoped that he could avoid waking Sasha if he had to enter through the window.

As Jean neared the roof's edge over Mikasa's room, he heard only the slightest creak of a hinge before Mikasa was alighting gracefully before him. _'How did she get up here so quickly and quietly?'_ It was moments like these that reminded him that she was still leagues ahead of the rest of them. "Lucky timing, huh? I was just about to come wake you."

"I wasn't sleeping. I heard your footsteps on the roof, so I came to meet you," her voice was level and passive, as if hearing his approach had been the simplest thing in the world.

Jean swore that he'd been as quiet as he possibly could... maybe it was time for him to start focusing on stealth training. Maybe her ears and senses were sharper than he'd expected, who knew what things she had overheard in their years of training. "And Sasha is still asleep?"

"Snoring, as always."

"I've tied a pair of horses about a quarter mile out. It's a bit of a walk, but better than setting off any alarms if we'd saddled them out here. Our gear is stored nearby as well." Something about the ease of the conversation unnerved him. Maybe it was just the situation, the prospect of spending days alone with the girl of his dreams that had him feeling all flustered. It didn't matter. She only had eyes for Jaeger and a simple reconnaissance mission wouldn't change that, it was better that he kept his mind focused and got rid of these impossible dreams, they'd only serve to disappoint him in the end.

The walk to the horses was uneventful, each of them proceeding in a comfortable silence. Jean's mind jumped unbidden to possible scenarios; maybe he'd help her don her gear, maybe he'd help her onto her horse, or reassure her that everything would be alright. Of course she didn't need any of these things and he knew it, but the thoughts came just the same. Their ride through the night was quiet as well, the bright light of the moon giving them enough light to navigate and the wind soft but chilling in their faces. It was comforting, knowing she was there and riding with him, the silence something they shared alone in the night. As they neared some of the outlying villages before Stohess, Jean signaled for them to stop and rest. He'd been training for most of the day and riding half the night, but they'd need to proceed with caution once they hit civilized areas. If they entered town as soldiers from the Survey Corps, Jean was sure that information would hit the wrong ears almost immediately.

"We should take some time to rest and find a place to change our gear out. I don't intend to abandon it or the horses, but we should at least take precaution." Jean signaled off the path toward a nearby tree line, not too heavily wooded but far enough off the main path to prevent them from being found by a wandering traveler. Mikasa complied easily, which came as a shock to Jean. He hadn't been anticipating arguing with her and this was a joint mission, but she seemed to have let him take the lead without much thought.

"Jean, may I speak with you for a few moments before we go to sleep?" Mikasa seemed concerned about something, her brow furrowed ever so slightly like she were solving a problem or concentrating.

Jean couldn't pull his eyes away from her, he realized that it was so rare to see a true expression on her face, something that belied the thoughts or feelings going on beneath her normally passive mask. He'd learned to cherish these moments as he'd trained with her and watched her rise among their ranks. A guarded smile here, a relieved sigh there. He could probably count the times it had happened since they'd met; this was her first in response to him.

Talk about something? He could feel the panic and apprehension rising inside him, a bubbling adrenaline not unlike the kind that surged through him as combat neared. _'Man, by now you'd think I'd be able to handle her stare, but now that she... oh shit I haven't said anything! Fuck, Jean, get it together... play it cool you just need to say yes.'_

"I... uh... yes, I'd love t-... I mean of course we can. Talk, that is." _Shit._

"Thank you." Mikasa continued to walk her horse toward their intended camp site, leading it within a few layers of tree cover to avoid any bandits looking for easy prey. Jean followed, his mind racing and trying to prepare him for irrational scenarios, each more incomprehensible than the previous.

Finding a clearing to camp had been easy enough, a fire pit at least a few weeks old stood in a reasonably well tended campsite. At least the odds appeared to be working in their favor. As each of them split off to change into their civilian clothes, Jean made sure to keep his eyes glued to a tree in the complete opposite direction of Mikasa. _'This conversation is likely going to be awkward enough as it is without you peeking at things that aren't yours to see,'_ he told himself. He waited until he heard rustling behind him before turning to see her.

Mikasa wore a long skirt and plain shirt, similar to things he'd seen her wearing around the compound between their training sessions. Something seemed... _off_... about it. It was a few moments before he realized that her scarf was no longer there. Had she been wearing it along the ride? He'd seen her without it when they were sparring of course, but even on missions into titan territory she wore it every single time.

"Mikasa, it's alright, you can wear the scarf. It's getting colder out and I'm sure anyone we run into wouldn't think it was strange that you were wearing one. It isn't military certainly, so I'm sure it would be fine." Jean gave her a reassuring smile, maybe she was nervous about trying to go under cover? It might actually be better if she wore the scarf, her different appearance may bring them more attention than they'd like on a mission like this.

"Oh... it's just that I didn't bring it with me." She grabbed for it unconsciously, her fingers fluttering in the air where it would normally have been. She seemed to notice that she'd done this and quickly set her hands to work with some small sticks nearby the fire pit. "I will start a small fire for us."

Jean gathered a few pieces of wood from the edges of the clearing, trying to find dry ones to avoid giving off too much smoke. As he returned, he saw that Mikasa had gotten a small fire going, her hands working in the practiced motion of one well-accustomed to the work. Her technique was different than they'd learned in training, but she clearly seemed to know what she was doing.

"I packed matches, you know."

"Yes, but we should conserve those in case we need them later. This way we don't eliminate any of our resources." She placed the sticks Jean had brought carefully into the fire, blowing lightly to encourage the flames. She untied some string from a long stick and placed it back in her pack, tossing the stick aside.

"Where did you learn to do that? I only know the basics of how to keep a fire lit. Maybe I was sick that day of class," laughed Jean. No one was ever allowed to miss class, even if they had to be wheeled in from the infirmary for the lectures.

"I learned it... from my father." Her voice was eerily silent.

"Uh... Dr. Jaeger taught you?"

"No," Mikasa said, her eyes flashing with a depth Jean had never witnessed in them. She seemed to realize it and pulled back. "No, my real father taught me. I only lived with Eren's family for a year before the titans came. They were very gracious to me, but..." her voice trailed off, lost in some memory he couldn't share. He could feel the silence stretching between them but didn't know what to say. There were memories that were sometimes best left hidden.

Moments passed, the fire crackling against small twigs and stone in the cool breeze before morning. There was something baited in the air, not like the free silence that had followed them as they'd ridden and eased his cares. Jean felt tense, his instincts telling him to speak before they lost the moment altogether, but it was Mikasa who broke the silence.

"I have something to ask of you, a task. It is very difficult to talk about this, I... I'd like you to teach me something."

Jean nodded encouragingly.

"It's just that I was speaking with Armin and he'd told me to try new things to get my mind off of... other things. It was enjoyable sparring with you the past few days, I felt like I could really release, so Armin thought I should do more things with you, and I'd just never had known how, so I thought...maybe..."

Was Mikasa babbling? It was strange seeing her struggle like this, strange seeing her nervous about something. Not that she was good at everything, of course, but that rarely seemed to cause her doubt. There were a few things Jean felt he had the upper hand on, but sparring wasn't one of them, so what was she aiming at?

"...you could teach me how to _kiss_?" The final word faded softly from her lips, burning the tips of Jean's ears as the meaning of her words struck home.

Kiss? Jean pinched himself immediately. He'd been struggling with these dreams enough to know how to solve this problem. They just seemed to be getting more realistic every time. The first pinch didn't seem to do anything, so he pinched harder, aiming for the soft skin along his side. Still nothing. Strange, he'd never had to pinch twice before, maybe if he just...

"Um... Jean?" Mikasa was staring at him, her voice still tinged with nervousness, but now mostly confused.

_'Shit... maybe this isn't a dream? If this is real then...'_ Jean straightened himself out, putting his fidgeting hands in his pockets. "Yes? I mean, yes. I can, uh, give you a few pointers on it." Jean took a deep breath, he could not believe that this was happening right now. "What made you want to try now?" _'Stupid question, who cares! You live in the same room as Jaeger, of course she would want to wait until you were out of the compound. Stupid! As if any of that even matters now!'_

"Well, it's just that I though you would be good at it." Mikasa seemed to recover slightly, though it was clear that this was uncomfortable territory for her. "I've just, never tried it before, and you are very comfortable with women, so I thought I could learn from your experience."

His experience? He'd kissed a girl once before, the day before he left to join the military, but he was twelve at the time and thought it would be dramatic. It ended up being sloppy and unmemorable. After that, he'd fallen hopelessly for Mikasa. He liked to think he was comfortable around women, but... "What do you mean about my experience? I've only ever had one kiss, and that was years ago."

Mikasa gave him a sly look, "It's alright Jean. I'm sure you've kissed plenty of girls." After a moment, she seemed to realize something, her hand flying to her mouth. "Oh, I'm sorry, do you have a girlfriend right now? I shouldn't have been so forward."

"A girlfriend?" She had no idea at all, did she? Jean had been so hung up on her that he thought everyone knew. It was one thing for her not to notice that he liked her and another altogether to believe he was some kind of heartbreaker. He didn't care that she thought he'd dated others, what mattered was that she didn't think of him at all. A real friend would know if he'd dated someone or not. A real friend would know who he really was. Jean tried to calm down, but three years of repressed feelings and frustrations were beginning to resurface. "A girlfriend?" Jean couldn't help but laugh, of course this was how it would happen! Of course he had always thought he was slowly working toward some opportunity, that one day it would click and she would realize that he had always been there for her, that they were meant to be. She didn't know anything about him! "Fuck, Mikasa, how would I have gotten a girlfriend? Did I pick someone up during our expedition out to the forest of giant trees? Or maybe when I was pretending to be Eren so we could capture Annie?"

Jean knew he shouldn't be going off like this, but the look on her face was so blank, not even shocked, that he couldn't help himself. "Have you been paying attention to anything other than Jaeger over the past three years?" Jean paused for breath. Now he'd done it. He hated to admit there had always been that secret glimmer inside of him, that little voice whispering that in the end it would all be worth it if he just waited a little longer. That's what irked him most of all.

Mikasa sat silently, looking at Jean like a spooked animal. This wasn't what he wanted at all. He was frustrated that the last three years had not meant as much to her as they had to him, but that wasn't her fault. "Mikasa, I'm sorry, I didn't mean for all of that to burst out. I've just... thought about you... a lot. Ever since we met. And it's like we aren't even friends..."

Jean paused, wondering at how his mouth seemed to keep going without any instructions from his brain. Mikasa had held her hand up, signaling for him to stop. Had she seen something in the woods? She was a long time in speaking and chose her words sparingly. "I'm sorry, Jean. Maybe I have been a bit... distracted, taking care of Eren all the time. I think I can understand how you feel. The first time we sparred, I was angry. But after that I chose to spar with you, because... it made me feel free. I enjoyed it. Armin thought I should try it more and spend more time thinking about myself, what _I_ wanted."

"And you wanted to learn to kiss?"

"Yes... well, I wanted to learn to kiss _with you_."

Man, Armin must have really come through for him. Jean would need to remember to pay him back for this when they got back. _'So Mikasa wanted to kiss me? I've lived the last three years hoping for that, but now that it is here...'_ Try as he might, Jean couldn't make himself like the situation any better. He could tell himself all day that he would have Mikasa any way he could, but that was a lie. He wanted her to be with him, to want to be with him. He needed time to reevaluate, to put up barriers so he wouldn't get hurt. Maybe Mikasa wanted to kiss him now, but when they returned? When Jaeger finally realized what he had been ignoring? She'd be waiting for him as he'd been waiting for her. And Jean would be alone again.

"I just need a little time to think to myself, it's been a long night and we should get some sleep. Is that alright?"

"Alright. Though," said Mikasa, tapping her chin thoughtfully "I could make you give it to me. I am stronger than you, you know."

Jean's head snapped back to face Mikasa in surprise. Had she really just said that? Did she think it was alright to just... She buried her face in her hands, her shoulders shaking with a rolling cough that Jean soon realized was Mikasa's laugh. _'Wow, she does not have a cute laugh, but at least she is telling jokes.'_ While Jean didn't have much to say for her sense of humor, he had to admit she probably could pin him long enough for a kiss, and the thought alone sent blood rising to his cheeks. This was going to be a very difficult mission.

"Mikasa?"

"Yes?" She was quiet again, but her eyes were on him. There was a piercing persistence to them that made Jean feel as if she was trying to make up for years of ignoring him in a single glance. He had her attention now.

"Could you ask me again tomorrow?"


	7. Feint and Retreat

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Armin makes a gamble while Bertholdt and Reiner work as a team.

**Chapter 7: Feint and Retreat**

Armin walked slowly down the stairs to the basement room where Annie was being kept. The third and final company in their resupply expedition to Karanes would be riding out now, leaving the survey corps headquarters virtually unprotected. With potential colluders within the military police, Commander Erwin had chosen to station a few of his own men throughout the castle instead of the contingent that the MPs had sent. Armin understood the decision but knew how ripe the castle must look for picking.

After ensuring that his preparations were in working order, Armin sat on a small cushion he'd brought down for the wait. Most of his fellow soldiers from the 104th had left in the first wave over three hours ago while he'd taken refuge in the loft above the stables. Hanji had known of his plan and had made sure that no red flags were raised, but that didn't mean that someone else wasn't watching. He estimated that if his adversary had ridden with either of the first two companies, they could potentially return here in the next two hours. If the enemy was hidden in the castle or coming from outside, they could come at any moment after the final company had left. For now, all he could do was wait.

Armin sat quietly, realizing that his heart was beating normally, his breath slow and measured. It was almost amusing enough to laugh at; here he was, the boy who'd gotten kicked around Zhiginshina by a couple of schoolyard bullies, waiting alone for one of humanity's greatest betrayers without so much as a nervous sweat. Ever since his grandfather had died during the reclamation mission, he'd told himself that he wanted to do the right thing, at any cost. Maybe that wasn't it after all, maybe he just had a death wish and chose martyrdom as the most noble way to go.

Annie stood silently in her crystal shell, the darkness shrouding her passive expression. Traitor. Armin couldn't help but agree with Eren, it just didn't add up, something wasn't right about all of this. What caused him doubt was how poorly managed it had been, she should have known better than to be trapped like this. Of course Eren simply didn't want to believe it, he'd done everything he could over the past few weeks trying to convince himself that she had been forced into it all along. That when the crystal finally opened she would somehow be there to confess or lead them to some greater evil that had compelled her. At least he had the dignity to keep it to himself, too many beds in this castle were empty by her hand alone. Armin didn't harbor such fantasies, he'd known her better than most during the early days of their training and he'd seen how she changed.

Maybe Annie had been coerced at first, during their days of training, but then she'd taken the mission as her own and committed to whatever cause she fought for now. Toward the end Annie had become more strong willed and more violent; prone to fighting when she didn't get her way and lashing out at those who showed weakness. Armin hadn't spoken with her about the change, he'd just assumed that she wanted to spend time with Eren instead of him. But he'd noticed it all the same.

The time passed slowly, or at least it seemed to. It had felt like hours that Armin had sat there, nearly motionless but the few quick stretches he would do from time to time to keep his blood flowing. Soft steps echoed down the from the edge of the staircase, quiet but not as stealthy as they could be. Armin could distinguish two sets of footsteps falling just out of sync as they descended as rapidly as their stealth would allow. _'They must have come from inside the castle if they aren't worried about the guards, either hiding out or having found another way in.'_ That meant they must be part of the survey corps, maybe even someone he had trained with. Armin had his suspicions, but making assumptions could be dangerous if you failed to prepare for any possibility.

Armin sat motionless, his form concealed by the equipment stored nearby, his fingers resting idly on the triggers of his maneuver gear. He had planned these moments carefully but like any situation there were an infinite number of things that could go unexpectedly wrong. Reiner and Bertholdt stepped into view, quiet but careless to their surroundings, their backs turned and guards down. Armin hesitated, his breath caught in his throat as he drank in the scene. He could execute the trap now, they were positioned perfectly in front of the crystal with their hands outstretched, but maybe this would be the piece of knowledge missing from Eren's transformation? Their hands pressed against the crystal, palms flat against its surface, and pushed. Armin felt a wave of energy wash over him and he fired, the modified gear punching deep into the walls on either side of Annie. The pulley system he'd established caught both Reiner and Bertholdt, driving them into the ceiling with incredible force and knocking them both unconscious, their legs and arms ensnared in thickly woven cables. They dangled motionless from the ceiling, blood dripping from small wounds as Annie's crystal melted between them.

Armin stood quickly, his hand grasping quickly for his blades. _'Shit, I had to remove those to make room for the extra gas propulsion!'_ He had brought a dagger to defend himself, hardly an adequate handicap to make any fight with Annie fair. She appeared to be moving sluggishly though, not really sure of herself or her surroundings. Taking the opportunity, Armin threw the dagger with all of his might, the blade sinking into the flesh near Annie's right shoulder with a sickening thud.

Annie stumbled back against the wall, her feet still clumsy and tripping over the fragments of crystal scattered around the basement floor. "Shit!" she screamed, her face contorting into a blind rage as she bent double and grasped the hilt. With an inhuman howl she yanked the dagger out, blood pouring from between her fingers as she clenched at the wound. The moments passed quickly as her ragged breaths slowed and she stood upright, tossing the dagger aside. "That was a really _fucking_ rude thing to do, Arlert."

Her wound had stopped bleeding, the healing done in mere moments. _'It must be something about that crystal, maybe her body is still responding like a titan's?'_ Armin hadn't liked his chances in combat with Annie, but now he doubted them even more. The best he could do was slow her down and hope the guards thought to check down here. Grabbing a fistful of gravel from his pouch, Armin ran toward her. He flung the gravel in Annie's face, causing her to shield her face and block her vision. Throwing all of his weight into her stomach, Armin knocked her off balance and onto the ground. She tried to wriggle free but her arms were pinned as he held on with all his strength.

Annie wriggled a single hand free and began raining blows against Armin's head and ears. He tried to huddle to avoid them but she threw her forehead into his face, cracking the bridge of his nose painfully. Armin rolled to his side, his nose in agony and blood running down his face. "Shit!" Armin cried, clutching at it instinctively as she quickly got to her feet. He felt his rib crack as her first kick landed against his side, the second landing moments later against his chest. His ears felt stuffed with cotton as pain exploded in his chest, his throat coughing up blood along the basement floor. He blinked, trying to stay in the present and keep his vision working. Waiting for the third kick, he tried to position his back away from her, but it never came.

Annie stood under Bertholdt and yanked at the wire, pulling him down and freeing his arms. Armin could see a loaf of bread and jugs of water strewn across the ground under Reiner. _'Maybe she needs them after using all that energy to shield herself, it must have something to do with...'_ Before Armin could finish his thought, Annie approached, grabbing him firmly by the collar and pulling his face toward hers. "Looks like you guessed wrong, Arlert. Did you know it was going to be one of them or was it just a lucky guess?"

"Couldn't have been that lucky if I was wrong. I knew it was Reiner but didn't think Bertholdt would be coming too. I thought two traps would have been enough." He spat at her face, blood mixing heavily with his saliva. Annie backhanded him hard, the swing filled with all the frustration of someone tired of playing games.

"Guess you thought wrong."

A second thud signaled that Reiner had been let down by Bertholdt, his form already huddled over and working at the binding ropes. Armin focused on his breathing, trying to tell if blood was entering his lungs. His chest hurt but his lungs felt clear, though likely bruised. They were all standing around him now, Reiner's strong arms pulling him up by his shirt. In his face was a sad reluctance as he pulled his arm back, ready to deal a heavy blow. Armin could see a deep-seated regret in his eyes. _'I wonder why he is doing this.'_

"Stop, I'll take care of this," spoke Annie, drawing a blade from Reiner's kit and stepping between him and Armin.

"Annie, I... do we..." stuttered Bertholdt, his eyes shooting worried glances toward Reiner's horrified face.

"I said I'll handle it. Now go check upstairs, this will be useless if the guards patrol this area, we can't transform until we are out the tunnel." Annie held their stares until they both nodded, hurrying back up the stairs as quietly as they could.

Armin laughed, sliding back down to his knees as Annie put the blade to his neck. The tiniest prick cut into his throat as her eyes narrowed suspiciously.

"What's so funny, Armin? There aren't any guards within earshot or you'd have called for them by now. _I_ take the game." She still called him by his first name when they were alone, that must mean something. Some lasting sentimentality? He laughed again, his chest burning as it rumbled.

"You aren't going to kill me, if you were you'd have done it already. You sent them away so that you wouldn't have to." Armin paused, watching her expression for something that  "Still thinking about that kiss under the stars? I'm afraid I won't be able to match it in my current condition."

Annie reared her arm back, her hand clenched tightly into a fist. "You stupid fool... maybe if things had been different..."

Armin smiled again, his lips still moist with blood. "Things could never have been different though, could they?" The impact of her fist sent stars spinning as he collapsed to the floor in a heap. Armin fought with all his mind to stay conscious, the moments ticking by in excruciating eternity. Finally a hand rested lightly against him. Mike.

"You've done well, Arlert, I will be able to follow them as planned. But let me quickly call for someone to tend to your wounds, you look as if..."

"No!" Armin hissed roughly into the silence. "If you call for anyone and Annie or the others hear you, we won't stand a chance. Go now, they are headed toward some tunnel, I will be fine." He forced a smile, the effort of it all draining him deeply.

Mike touched his shoulder consolingly, his eyes pained but determined. Armin listened to his footsteps as he stood and left, soft padded feet whispering against the cold stone floor. He lingered on the edge of his consciousness for a while, his mind wandering to memories of stars covered by the cloudy night. His head was aching terribly and he could feel nausea coming on now. _'It must be a concussion... if only I can stay awake long enough I will be alright.'_ Either way, the plan had worked and the pieces were in motion, he wouldn't be needed for now.

_'Your move, Annie Leonhart.'_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for not being sorry that this took me forever to post.


	8. Doing Things Differently

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jean lies to an authority figure.

Mikasa walked silently, her maneuver gear and some clothes stored in a large pack atop the horse she led. She didn't like feeling as open as she did now, walking without weapons or gear in the wide terrain, but it had been Jean's idea. The corporal had told her to follow Jean's lead on this mission since 'her skills lay elsewhere', whatever that was supposed to mean. She had to admit that Jean certainly seemed more comfortable than she felt with the current state of things.

Jean had said to ask about the kiss again today... did that mean she could she ask now? Or did a full day need to pass? He'd stayed silent all morning, unwilling to be the first to broach the subject. No one had ever explained the rules of these things to her, too bad Armin wasn't here to give her some advice.

"Jean, about last night..."

"Later." His response was curt, but not unfriendly. His eyes wouldn't meet hers and she followed his stare to see what preoccupied him.  _'Military Police!'_  Her breath caught in her throat as her mind leapt to where their swords were being kept below their packs. She could reach them in a moment, but were there people who could see them? She would have to be fast...

Jean wasn't moving for his blades, though, he was walking calming toward the MP. Should she go for her swords or try to flank the patrol and come from behind? Humans presented a far different set of problems than titans, ones she hadn't had to deal with in a long time. She was used to attacking directly without any need for stealth or secrecy. Eren would surely attack in this situation, but Jean? He was too much of an unknown to anticipate, and he'd already proven that he wasn't an easy read.

"Hello there, sir." Jean's voice had become friendlier, a genial cadence dancing along his words, an abashed reverence hidden under his tones. It didn't sound like Jean at all. "Is this the Maria district of Stohess? I've been gone so long I thought I'd made a wrong turn."

"One moment." The guard looked toward Mikasa as she'd been moving slowly toward her gear, trying to get at the blade that was hidden so nearby.  _Shit!_  "I'm going to have to inspect your packs, by order of the king. State your names."

"Oh, alright..." spoke Jean, hesitant. "But it's rather embarrassing, what we have packed here. I'd appreciate it if we could just..."

The guard turned his glance back to Jean. "I said, state your names."

 _'Jean must be in over his head...'_  thought Mikasa furiously, if only they'd decided on a sign for a situation like this. Then again, the corporal had told her to follow Jean's lead, and he hadn't shown any indication of looking to her for an answer. She would just have to be ready for whatever the situation called for. "My name is Jean Tannen, and this here is my newly married wife, Marsha Tannen. We sent some supplies up a few days earlier, looking to move in with my..."

The guard waved him quiet. "Yeah yeah, I just need your names not your whole damn life story. Open the first pack."

 _'Shit! It isn't working!'_  thought Mikasa, wanting to dive for her blade and end this intrusion. The MPs would certainly be on the lookout once they had realized this patrol was gone, but that would buy them enough time, wouldn't it? Jean was lifting the travel covers from the first of their horses, just under those supplies was their maneuver gear... any second he would see their gear and Mikasa would have to act, maybe she could snap his neck in one twist? She'd never killed like that and wasn't looking forward to trying... but there wasn't enough time for her blades.

Mikasa circled behind the guard as he moved in for a closer inspection.  _'Steel your nerves,'_ she told herself, _'it will be over in a moment.'_  Jean sidestepped and blocked her path, taking her in his arms and planting a kiss firmly on her lips. Warmth spread through her and Mikasa froze, astounded. It had been so sudden and unexpected that she'd forgotten what she was going to do. She openly stared at Jean, her eyes wide and heat rising in her face.

Jean stepped back to the guard, his attention now on them and Mikasa's blushing face. "I'm sorry," Jean whispered as if in confidence to the patrol, "it's just a little embarrassing. Marsha here has a thing for the uniform  _and_  the men wearing it, and they always tell you that you have to keep the marriage fresh from the start. There is this little shop down in Karanes that will do custom jobs, so I had them make us some replica straps, like your gear. It gets her going something awful, if you know what I mean." Jean smirked, moving the pack ever so slightly to reveal two hanging belts.

The patrol looked from the belts to her scarlet face and nodded, a mischievous grin of his own adorning his face. "Alright, I understand that it's embarrassing your new wife, but it happens a lot more often than you think." He leaned closer to Jean, "the border towns are even crazier, I hear. The women out there, so close to the wall, they're just waiting to show you their gratitude back in your room. Like it's their patriotic duty or something. No, I know the type alright," here he smiled at Mikasa with a look that she did not like at all. Jean let the pack fall back over the belts and led his horse forward, the guard smirking to himself, lost in some distant fantasy.

After they'd gotten a good distance away from the guard, Mikasa moved alongside Jean. "What was that?"

"That?" Jean smiled to himself, clearly pleased. "People already know what they want to believe, you just have to tell him. The MPs, well they want to think they are better than everyone else. You tell them that they are and they won't be looking to make a liar of you."

Jean  _had_  handled the situation well. Mikasa was sure that the guard would have been killed if Eren was here instead, maybe they would even have been caught. "Not that, I meant what was the kiss?"

"Oh... that... I'm sorry, I just...," Jean hurriedly apologized, clearly flustered.

"It's alright, I was just, well... surprised." Had that been the kiss that he'd said he was going to give her? It had been so fast she hadn't really learned anything about the technique, she'd just been left with a feeling of warmth that sent tingles down her back. Mikasa wanted to try again, but was that because she liked it or because she wasn't sure? Surely that one didn't count, did it? "Where are we going?"

"There is a safe house not far from here, just toward the north end of town before we pass through the wall." He gestured in the general direction, his eyes flitting back to her from time to time as they spoke. "It will be getting dark soon anyway."

A safe house? It sounded just like the thing Erwin Smith would have arranged. He was always speaking of the  _real_  enemy, someone hiding in the shadows where Annie's road led. Now they were hiding in the shadows too.

Coming to an inn, Jean led the horses around back and directly to the stable's side door. He unlocked the padlock with a key he kept on a small chain and led the horses silently inside. Mikasa was starting to get anxious, wouldn't a stable hand notice? Inns held lots of people, that was their specific purpose, and didn't they want to  _avoid_  people right now? "Jean, I don't think this is a good idea. Someone is going to notice us. Can't we just..."

"It's alright, trust me on this one, okay? The owner knows we are coming. It's all settled." He slipped quietly out the door again and locked the padlock back into place. Mikasa followed Jean through the back door of the inn that led into the kitchens; there was a woman tasting from a pot in front the kitchen fire, her eyes strained in concentration as she held the stew in judgment. Seeing them enter, she nearly dropped the spoon back into the bowl in shock.

" _Shit,"_  whispered Jean, his face reddening a little as he turned and walked quickly up the stairs and pulling Mikasa behind him.

"What's wrong Jean? Will she tell?"

"No, it's, uh, actually my mother."

Jean's mom? Mikasa hadn't heard Jean talk about his parents before, or maybe he simply hadn't with her. He'd grown up in Trost, his family must have moved after he left, maybe even after the Colossal titan had returned. She felt the skin of her arms tingle with an involuntary shiver.

Mikasa followed Jean up the stairs and set her pack next to his. They were on the top floor of the inn, only a small hallway joined two unnumbered rooms up here.

"Mine and my mom's", explained Jean, gesturing to either side before heading to his room.

Mikasa sat on the edge of Jean's bed looking at the dusted bedside table and folded sheets, tell-tale signs of motherly affection that she had so often let pass unnoticed when she was young. She had tried to cherish them with Mrs. Jaeger, but those subtle kindnesses so often went unseen. "So that's your mother?"

"Yeah," said Jean, his cheeks reddening slightly as he ran his hand through his hair nervously. "I expect we will be seeing more of her shortly." Jean offered no further explanation.

Mikasa frowned. Jean was supposed to be the one with the plan here, now he was off in his own world caught in a childhood dream. Did the owner know they were coming? Who could they trust outside of the Survey Corps? Now Jean wasn't even talking. What was their next move?

"So, she cooks here?" Mikasa offered.

"What? Oh, no. She's the owner. There's a barmaid downstairs and a cook and some others to run the inn, but she's a real stickler for quality and likes to do things herself sometimes when there are important people staying at the inn." Jean shrugged. "Tonight, that's probably us."

Footsteps sounded on the stairs below as Jean's mother climbed up toward them. She was dabbing quietly at her eyes as she tried to force back tears.

"Mah, come on, you don't need to fall apart like this every..."

"Oh, you know I can't help it. You seem like you are eating well enough, still won't grow out that silly haircut of yours I see. Been having your vegetables?"

"Mah!"

"Don't need to get yourself worked up, I'll stop, alright? Well, this must be  _Mikasa_  then," she said, pronouncing the first syllable like 'mu'. It reminded her of the little hunting villages that her father had gone to when trading their furs. "Jean-bo has told me so much about you in his letters, I feel like I know you myself."

Jean's eyes danced quickly between his mother and Mikasa, his red cheeks deepening with each passing breath. "I... uh... think I will change out of my pajamas. Or into. Them." Jean walked out the door, his shoulders hunched as if to cover his ears. He was embarrassed, but he didn't need to be. He'd already told her that he'd thought about her. At least she wasn't the only one feeling confused. "It's nice to hear that Jean writes you. And thank you for allowing us to stay here."

"Well aren't you sweet. I'd do about anything to get Jean-bo under my roof again." She smiled but Mikasa could tell her eyelids were heavy with worry. It had been a long time since she had been fretted over by a mother. " _Mikasa_ , you must tell me what you use for your hair, if it isn't silk itself of course!" Jean's mother set some plainclothes1 on what must be Jean's bedside table and sat beside Mikasa. "Jean tells me that you're quite the fighter, too. Now, I don't mean to ask anything of you, but my Jean, well he can be a bit of a handful sometimes. He doesn't always know when to stop speaking or when to speak up, and he can act so entitled, I suppose he gets that bit from his father. But he's got a good heart and he wants to help people, even though he won't admit it sometimes, especially to himself. Can you be honest with me, does he have many friends?" She blinked back tears, wiping her eyes with unsteady hands. "I just want to make sure he isn't alone when he goes out there."

Mikasa's first thought was of Marco, lying broken in the ruins of Trost. There were others, Mikasa was sure, but what could she consider herself? What did she want to be to him? "We're all a family, Mrs. Kirschtein, he's never out alone."

Jean's mother smiled, from behind her reddening eyes. "Oh now, it's just Ms. Kirschtein. I'm going to fetch you two some dinner, will stew and fresh bread be alright?"

"It would be wonderful, Ms. Kirschtein."

She stood and walked to the door, turning before she left, "Oh, and Mikasa? Thank you."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry about that wait, let's all agree that one is 'my bad'
> 
> 1). I kind of purposefully wanted to imply that she thinks of her uniform as her normal clothes, and her civilian clothes as the 'costume' or non-normal wear. Basically the clear mental dichotomy between soldier and civilian.


	9. In The Open

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Somebody dies.

Eren rode behind Levi in silence, the steady  _thump_  of the horses' hooves drumming out his fledgling thoughts. Maybe he had grown too accustomed to the regular schedule of life back at headquarters, or maybe it just felt strange to be out on the road again, but Eren couldn't seem to place the feeling of unease that nagged at his stomach. What would Armin notice about today? He'd only seen Armin briefly in the morning, but they hadn't had a chance to speak. There were very few people he'd had a chance to see; Levi had taken him aside and they'd ridden along the far right flank of the survey corps, the farthest placement of the scouts. It did seem strange that they were riding in their scouting formation, they hadn't even reached Karanes and were well within the outer walls. Wouldn't it be easier to ride in the standard formation along the paved roads? Surely there was no risk of titan attack within Wall Rose? Hadn't they already captured Annie? What did Erwin expect to see?

"Sir? Is there something going on?"

Levi stared at Eren, as if challenging him to answer his own question. Eren held his silence, unsure what to think. The captain frowned and turned back to the road, speaking over his shoulder. "Aside from the obvious? We ride to Karanes to launch another push south, though I'm sure you are aware of that in light of Erwin's speeches and strategy sessions on the matter."

"Well, yes, but..."

"Beyond that we can only speculate, but we have to be prepared for the worst. The other two titans, the colossal and armored titans, where are they now Eren?" Levi looked at him expectantly, his eyes piercing and dark against the cloudy sky. There was something in the way that he asked questions that always made Eren feel as if he were being scolded, like a child.

"They could be anywhere."

"They  _are_  here, where else would they be?"

Annie had been in the military police, could the other two also be in the MPs? Or maybe one in each branch? Or had Levi meant here on the mission, meaning the other two could both be in the survey corps? Chills ran down his spine as if eyes were on him, watching his every move from the shadows. "Is that why we are out here, riding on the far flank? I thought Jean and Mikasa were riding in this position."

"And hopefully so does everyone else. The forest of giant trees taught us that our enemies have someone inside. The female titan would not have known our location, even as one of the military police. The information came from within the survey corps. Only you and I know where we are riding, even Kirschtein and Ackerman have been kept in the dark."

Jean and Mikasa in the dark too? How could they not know though? Maybe everyone had switched places and they had all been told that they rode in someone else's spot? He supposed it didn't matter now, the important thing was to keep his eyes peeled and get to Karanes. The push south toward his old home would be more than enough to worry about, when the time came. Just thinking of home sent images of his mother's death through his mind, but Eren had become accustomed to these. He used to fight them and try to keep them hidden, though time and failure had taught him to let them pass on their own. He'd come to silently cherish them; without them he didn't think he'd have been able to keep her face so vivid in his mind.

A green flare, shot from near the center of the formation burst into view, arcing eastward in a graceful slope. Eren readied his own flare, aiming and firing forward as other flares broke the treeline in parallel to the first. Levi stared openly westward and Eren thought he knew why. There was a massive gap between their right flank and the nearest flare, room where a number of pairs were certainly supposed to be riding. What had happened? Was this supposed to be part of the plan as well?

"Eren, I would tell you to stay here, but I think we both know that you would charge into whatever awaits the moment you were out of my eyesight, especially if you believe your friends are in danger. I can't blame you for that, so at least wait five minutes before you follow. If it's an ambush, I don't..." A mix of red and black flares burst forth from near center formation, stopping Levi in his tracks. "Shit." Without another word he turned his horse toward the flares at full speed.

Eren paused, reigning in his horse. Red flares meant a titan spotted, but black flares meant that an aberrant had been spotted, so multiple titans? Were humans who could change into titans considered aberrants?  _'There is nothing else for it,'_  thought Eren, turning his horse and galloping after Levi. He only hoped that they wouldn't be too late.

* * *

_"You stupid fool... maybe if things had been different..." The words echoed against his ears, the reverberations making him spin and his head ache. Annie stood before him, laughing harder and harder, until the tears broke forth and ran red down her face. Blood began to pool around their feet, rising rapidly as Armin tried to move. Why was it so hard to move all of a sudden? He struggled to swim upward, to keep his head above the rising tide, but it was all he could do to take a final breath before he was pulled below. Under the cresting red was a deep darkness; darkness filled with whispers and pain. His eyes snapped open at the sound of his name._

"...is Armin doing? He took quite a beating back in the basement. I just hope we were..."

It took a moment for his eyes to adjust to the light in the room. Mike was standing over him, his eyes on a medic that Armin didn't know and his clothes disheveled from hard riding. The medic must be from the Garrison; all the members of the corps were heading off to Karanes, except the traitors of course. The image of Annie's face frozen in blood-stained laughter floated like a phantom just above his eyes and Armin blinked to rid himself of it. No sense in mourning that loss now.

"Thank god he's alright!" Mike leaned over him, trying to get close enough to whisper, or maybe sniff.

"That's enough now, give him some time. He needs bed rest for another day at least, but since you will probably drag him out the moment I leave, at least give him time to wake up fully. And Armin, take it easy for a little while. We all have our limits." The medic turned and left, wiping his hands on a clean towel before casting it into the wash basin in the far corner of the room.

Mike waited until the door closed before leaning in toward Armin again, his hand held cautiously within reach of his pocket. "I trailed them for a long time. I took care so that they didn't see me, even across some of the open patches. They weren't easy to follow, even though they were only on two horses. They met some others that I didn't recognize, though I think one of the men must have been Leonhardt's father, the way they spoke. They left shortly thereafter, torching the small cabin they'd been in. I grabbed what I could, but it wasn't much, most of it was too far gone." Mike pulled a small stack of folded papers out of his pocket and handed them to Armin. "I took a look at some of them, but thought it best that you see it as soon as possible."

The papers looked like letters, though there didn't seem to be much in common with them. Much of the text had faded, but the script was varied across the many pages. Most likely a private collection, all to a single recipient. Most of the letters seemed to jump right into the message, skipping the intended recipient's name entirely. Maybe informal notes? If his head would stop spinning, Armin was sure he could make some sense of it all.

"If you don't mind, I did find one thing that might be worth mentioning. The only names I could find mentioned are in this one. Not sure if they could be important, but if the traitors took care to cover it up..." Mike carefully leafed through the pages, finding one in a precise and flowing script that looked oddly familiar. The salutation was still intact, reading  _'To my beloved Grisha'_. Armin stared at the letters a while, unwilling to accept what they in all likelihood implied.

"Thank you, Mike. Both for the letters and for sending for help. I owe you my life."

"I should be thanking you, you risked your life and gave us the biggest breakthrough we've had in the last five years." Mike gripped his shoulder firmly and nodded his approval. "Do the letters mean anything to you?"

"I'm not positive, but I have a theory. Can you arrange for a dispatch to reach Karanes? I would ride myself but speed is of the essence."

"Of course, I will be back shortly to collect the message." Mike stood and left, hesitating for a moment at the door but holding his silence.

Armin allowed his head to fall back into the pillow, his ragged breaths slowly getting deeper as accepted the setback as best he could. If they had Mr. Jaeger's letters then that meant one of two things: either they had Mr. Jaeger, though Armin thought that unlikely, or their enemies had reached the basement in Zhiginshina already.

* * *

The sounds beyond the tree line were deafening; gunfire and guttural roars and the screams of deaths come too soon. Shortly after he'd started riding, Eren had witnessed the tell-tale lightning of a titan transformation taking place. Either the colossal titan or the armored titan fought beyond these trees, but could he defeat either of them? Beating Annie had been a near thing, even when she was cornered and under attack by the Survey Corps' ambush. Out here in the open the corps were at a disadvantage, especially if two intelligent titans were working together.

Eren couldn't feel his fingers anymore, his knuckles long since gone white in gripping the reins. Should he transform now? He didn't know what to expect on the other side, maybe his titan form would be a hindrance in battle? Maybe it was exactly what they wanted? For maybe the eleventh time Eren reached his hand to his mouth before swiftly returning it and gripping with renewed vigor. Damn it!

The edge of the trees gave little warning to what lay beyond as Eren continued at full speed, and in a moment it was all spread bare before him. Clusters of soldiers fought sword to sword as others fired their rifles indiscriminately into the chaos. Only one titan stood in the midst of the fray, swinging her long arms and raking the ground as soldiers ventured too near. Eren was only moments from reaching them and he still didn't have any clear idea of what was happening. He looked for Levi among the clashing soldiers, but he was nowhere to be seen.

Eren's horse reared as the titan batted an assailant into his path, the soldier's bloodstained jacket clearly marked with the insignia of the Military Police. The realization of it all came clashing together at once, leaving him nearly stunned.  _The military police attacked the survey corps in an act of outright war._  Eren immediately remembered the words of Commander Pixis and Erwin Smith, that there was more to this fight than just titans versus man.

Another volley of gunfire exploded from the far tree line as Eren circled away from the conflict, his eyes focused on the female titan. If the lightning was any indication, she had to be another person who could titan-shift, but who did she fight for? His question was answered as a team of three MPs tried to flank her, sending cables toward the back of her neck, only to have them cut by a small blond figure running along the titan's back.  _Krista?_

Raising his hand to his mouth, Eren spurred the horse toward the front lines and the oncoming military police. That's when he saw their faces. In the heat of the moment, he'd been able to see them as nameless and faceless enemies, but now he was forced to confront their humanity. Many were just following orders; trusting in their superiors that they were doing the right thing to protect their families and their lives. Was he any different? If he attacked them now, as a titan, how was he any different then Annie or the others who could change form? These weren't murderers and kidnappers like when he was young, but men and women who had taken the same vows he had.

Armin and Commander Erwin always spoke so easily of the calculated risks and the casualties of any encounter, that they had to be hard and cold to win, that they could stop at nothing to achieve victory. How could they accept that so easily? What did that say about him if he couldn't? What did it say about him if he did?

Eren flinched as musket fire exploded in his direction, the soldier just before him jerking backward as the bullet punched into his chest. Commander Erwin's eyes met Eren's as he rode past, the clear shock of pain dimming to a sickeningly passive calm that was not far from what his normal countenance had so often been. Then Eren finally understood what Erwin and Armin had meant all along; giving up his humanity to save the human race meant sacrificing who he was, in his own eyes, to become the tool needed to serve a greater purpose, even if history remembered him as cruel. Eren forced himself to stare at the oncoming soldiers as he raised his hand to his teeth and tasted blood on his tongue. As the whirlwind took him he realized that once again, the tears had come before the bite.


End file.
